I Do What I Want (Unless You Carry the Bigger Stick)

Name: Chaco Z/2            
Age: About a Year
Size: 11
General Interests:  Being outdoors, being indoors, going to overpriced coffee shops/breweries, hanging out in groups of similar shoes, chaffing my feet, hanging out at the local Mac store.
Personality Type: Pretentious with expensive tastes; likes to discuss humanitarian and environmental causes without actually doing anything useful to help further them. Despite talking a big game about diversity, Chacos are attracted to likeminded individuals, because true diversity makes them feel scared and uncomfortable.

I approach this week’s post with a bit of a conflict in my mind: Do I keep things positive and talk about my history with sandals and how I love being able to hike and be active without having to encase my feet in hot, sweaty leather? My other option is to go negative and talk about everything wrong with these shoes and the culture that embraces them as a banner under which to rally the hordes of ineffectual, inactive, and generally unproductive, community activists.

Hmmm…what to do…what to do…

I guess I’ll keep it positive. After all, I need to keep some good material for later, right? Plus, some of you out there, probably wear and enjoy your Chacos, and at this early juncture in my blog, I wouldn’t want my oft abrasive sense of humor to offend you. So please, put yourself at ease, Dear Reader…I only have good things to say today!

As I was saying, sandals are great. How great? Imagine being able to run, jump, hike, swim, lounge, work, party, or any number of other activities without changing your shoes! Whoever invented sandals must have been the smartest man alive (I hear they were invented by Jesus before time began). Seriously, sandals of (almost) all shapes and sizes are the greatest thing known to man.

It was with this in mind that I chose to wear my Chacos this most recent Sunday as I joined my friend, whom we will call "Scott" (for the sake of anonymity), for a Canoe trip. Called “Urban Canoeing,” it was a new concept to me. Basically, you take a canoe, put it in a lake in suburbia, and there you go: Urban Canoeing.

"Scott," always a sucker for an adventure, found Lake Barcroft on Google Maps. A manmade lake, it serves no real purpose other than to give a bunch of wealthy suburbanites a great place to swim and recreate without having to share space with us city dwellers, probably known to them as “Hoi Polloi,” or the “Untermensch.” Little did "Scott" know, these folks take their privacy very seriously. As we approached the lake in a car with DC plates and a canoe strapped atop, we were greeted by unfriendly stares and many signs like this:

Is this really necessary?

Undaunted, we parked our car and launched our boat anyway (with a little confidence, people will assume you belong just about anywhere). Ol' "Scott" wore hiking boots, so it was up to me to launch off of the beach, a task which involved my feet getting wet. Lucky for me, my Chacos thrive in wet environs, and aided me in launching the canoe without any problems.

After paddling around and fishing for a couple of hours, it was getting late, so we headed back. We were pleasantly surprised to find that not only had the car had not been towed, but there were no nasty letters or tickets on the windshield. We strapped the canoe back atop the car and drove off. 

Of course, before leaving, we needed to stage one more act of defiance: we drank a beer on the edge of the lake as the sun set behind the million dollar houses.

After the relaxing events of the day, the stress caused by living in the city washed off us in the same manner as the water droplets slid off of our canoe in the wind on the drive home. 

Sometimes, getting out of the city is as necessary to a restless youth like myself as is eating or breathing. It is difficult to live among concrete and narrow alleyways. The soul has a way of dying slowly when you spend too much time in the city.

Prolonging my sanity is possibly one of the best Reasons to Put on My Shoes.

 

It's the simple things in life for "Scott"

A welcomed sight for wary city eyes