George Washington Ain't Got Nothin' on This Guy

Name: New Balance
Age: Brand New

Size: 11.5
General Interests: Being new, I’d hazard a guess that they like long runs, going to the gym, riding a bicycle with someone they care about (me), and generally being active.

Personality Type: “Richard Simmons” type of energetic

Took my shoes for a bike ride on Saturday. I rode the Mount Vernon trail all the way to its namesake location. I wore my brand new New Balance shoes which I accidentally bought  a month ago because of a Groupon snafu. I barely ever run anymore, so I really didn’t need them. The good thing is that they are comfortable and well ventilated, which is great for riding my bike. They look cool too. When people see me, I’ll bet they think “Look at his shoes. I’ll bet he’s in great shape.” Yea…that’s totally what they think…

Anyway, the bike ride was totally awesome. I rode approximately 43 miles, burning nearly 1800 calories. I rode fast and hard, and sometimes I even pretended that I was racing, just so I could make myself go faster.

I used to make fun of people who rode their bike to work. I’d call them “hippies,” among other names. “Why ride a bike when you can just drive?” I’d ask.

That all changed when I moved to the city, and realized how long it takes to go places around here. Two miles can take about 30 minutes if you are walking, and the Metro is a miserable failure of a system that can take just as long as walking. Finally, I got a bike. In an ironic turn of events, I ride it to work most days. It turns out that going fast is fun, and when you usually walk places, a bike seems like it’s fueled by lightning.

Sometimes when riding, I come up on a gap between two joggers running in opposite directions. As the distance closes between them, I pedal harder, pretending that I am in the Millennium Falcon, and the mouth of the giant Space Slug is closing and trying to cut off my escape route. At the last, I zoom through the opening just before the two joggers close it off, and then say some line in my head that sounds like something Han Solo would say if he had completed some heroic act.

Then I ride on, smiling silently to myself, because I just made real life awesome.

Riding 43 miles is great. Riding 43 miles, pretending I’m piloting a legendary space ship the whole time? Well, that just sounds like a great Reason to Put on My Shoes.